Strange

I have some strange news...i'll be back in RI for 2 months...i don't know how i feel about this...but its for school so thats a good thing...i don't know what else to say about this...

updating...

wow this is difficult...the whole updating thing! so i thought i'd be creepy and put up a pic of my adorable ball of fluff...isnt he sweet with his wii mote!?



so i'm intensely job searching...its a fun experience...planning on a small vaca to RI in june...just in time for ho bags b-day...





love you sis!

thats about it...yay for pics!

Life in plastic

It's been a strange few days. My parents have withheld making comments about my apparent bad choices, I'm happy for the first time in months. At least, I think I'm happy. I kinda forgot what that felt like, so I think sleeping normally, a returned love of onion rings, and a slight dissatisfaction with my body and its overweightness is good. I even now how to fix it, I think....
Thats right kids, the ab lounge...it seems like such a simple idea...get up in the morning, bend in strange fashions for 45 minutes, go on with my life...how hard is that? not to, not to...suggestions are welcome...

A change in diet is necessary as well once i move...tomorrow...so here's a list of badness....

-ice cream
-mudslides
-margaritas(not really ice cream but way too many calories...

-onion rings (unless i do them the healthy way, i.e. baked...)
-potatoes...except sweet potatoes
-BREAD(oh god)
-chocolate
-caramel candies...yummmmm

so now that you have read my list, and utterly don't care, i think we're good...

oh, and graham and i hung out today...i ate all the above things except the margarita...yea...

it was fun, I'm going to miss the bitch...

It's 3 am and I'm still lonely...

I guess when you can't sleep, all your little fears, insecurities and doubts come out.

I'm petrified. CJ says I'm brave, and I'm not. I'm scared that he won't love me after living with me for 2 days, I'm scared I'll die and no one will no what happened to me, I'm scared that I'm really going to lose it more so than I already have.

One of the reasons for this move is my own inability to deal with school, and being 21 and no where yet, and feeling inadequate, hating/loving my father for his own mental pitfalls.

Writing is supposed to be the best therapy. I hope so.

I need a lot of it.

You spin me...

Shipping things, or at least planning to do so is a monumental pain in my ass. i managed to optimistically cut down my life contents to one box and a duffle bag, and i feel even more hopeless and insignificant. UPS is too freaking expensive, so fedex shall be my courier of clothes. i'm so paranoid it will all disappear into a big blackhole...they may not be much, buth they are still my clothes...

onto other things, i'm feeling rather out of the family circle now...after being told that i was the one who was making the rift, i made every effort to be a Good Daughter during my last week here...too bad my dad hates me now...

Graham will arrive in a few days. I promised him that i would pick his ass up from the train station, lets hope I still can...