It's 3 am and I'm still lonely...

I guess when you can't sleep, all your little fears, insecurities and doubts come out.

I'm petrified. CJ says I'm brave, and I'm not. I'm scared that he won't love me after living with me for 2 days, I'm scared I'll die and no one will no what happened to me, I'm scared that I'm really going to lose it more so than I already have.

One of the reasons for this move is my own inability to deal with school, and being 21 and no where yet, and feeling inadequate, hating/loving my father for his own mental pitfalls.

Writing is supposed to be the best therapy. I hope so.

I need a lot of it.